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Coping with Loss

Coping with Loss

I’m not a doctor. I’m not a psychiatrist. I’m not a counselor. I’m a normal person with a normal life, facing everyday problems just like all of you reading this. Therefore, whatever I write is an outcome of my personal experience.
I’m a normal person, who, from time to time, faces loss, hopelessness and distress, but learns how to cope up with this eventually.

Life is not always sunshine and butterflies- every once in a while all of us face something traumatic- loss of a job, a break up, loss of a dear one, loss of friendships, financial loss and the like…
What, then, is the way to cope up with such loss? Sulking, crying, not eating, not sleeping, isolating ourselves… does all this help?
No. On the contrary, all of these unhealthy activities only promote that sullen, sinking feeling.

There could be different ways to deal with loss or grief- different ways that suit different people.
The very first thing that you need to acknowledge is that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. You are not the only one going through a hard time, a major difficulty or a big loss. Each person in the world has multiple hurdles in life, multiple losses that they need to face, and multiple problems they need to cope up with.
Loss or gain, ups and downs, smiles and tears- they’re all a part of life. Don’t walk around cursing your luck for every problem that you face. You are blessed, because no matter how impossible the situation may seem, it definitely gets better!

Another thing that has really helped me is TALKING ABOUT MY PROBLEM with someone I trust.
You may tell them every single detail, or you may tell them a part of what’s bothering you- either way, it helps!
There comes a time when we all need an outlet to release our emotions, our pent up frustrations, and thoughts. What, then, is better than friends and family who are very willing to listen and guide?

Contrary to the notion that some of us have, CRYING DOES NOT MAKE A PERSON WEAK. You’re stressed and worried. You’re scared and discouraged. You cry. So what? You are NOT a weakling. Don’t let anyone tell you that!
Crying is your body’s way of letting your emotions out, before they all accumulate to give you a panic attack. It’s healthy to cry at times, to let our feelings out and feel light.

Remember all those typically Bollywood movies where the hero, in a sour mood, picks up his guitar and ends up composing a beautiful song as he strums the strings angrily?  Well, that is not cliche at all. That, in fact, was a very good attempt by the hero to channelize all the negative energy within him.
RELEASE YOUR EMOTIONS IN A CREATIVE WAY– This could mean different things for different people. Write about whatever’s troubling you, compose a song or a poem, compose a dance sequence, draw, paint; basically just do whatever falls under your niche.
This has two purposes- first, that it helps you develop your skills and creativity; second, it takes your mind off whatever that is troubling you, hence serves as a great distraction.

When we’re saddened by an event or memory, it is VERY IMPORTANT FOR US TO TAKE GOOD CARE OF OURSELVES- skipping meals, consumption of limitless alcohol and drugs, and other harmful activities will obviously not be able to undo whatever happened. We need to keep our physical condition in a good state in order for our mental state to heal fast.
Moreover, it is scientifically proven that consumption of certain food items stimulate secretion of certain hormones that instantly put us into a good mood.

Lastly, it is very important for each one of us to ACCEPT whatever happened as part of our life. Living in denial is particularly unhealthy.
We’ve to convince ourselves that something unfavorable happened, and we need to convince ourselves that we need to get over it.

I’ve said it before, and I say it again- I’m not a doctor. I’m not a psychiatrist. I’m not a counselor. I am also a normal person. I am you. We all go through loss. And eventually, we all end up dealing with it!

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Devika Arora
Pursuing Bachelors in English from Hindu College, University of Delhi. I am an avid reader, and an even more dedicated writer *People who just meet me think I'm quiet, people who know me wish I was*

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